As the connected kitchens norm gradually takes over, wherein the equipment communicates effectively, I expect these machines to get evolved into consciousness

The cute iVario was getting installed - her fine finish, slender curves, digital flashy icons and setting of automatic signals, all pretty in place. Indeed, eye candy for the handsome, sturdy iCombi Pro combi-oven beside her. He was smitten, all his GN pans were dancing ebulliently at the prospect of having such a beautiful neighbour. He sent forth vapour from his efficient German cook system with a friendly gesture. “Steamy passes should work with the hot induction iVario,” he thought. 

For sure. 

The soft silky lovelies impressed the sensitive and pretty iVario. She was enamoured with the magical attention and eloquent, sonic whistles. The IoT port in her was activated, a pleasing signal was sent effortlessly across to the indulgent combi. His system fired up with great gusto! The steel outers shone brightly after quick red flashes of shyness. The reverberations were instantaneous, while the iCombi trollies danced in digital drama sequences. There was much hissing and swaying on the floor plate at the all-new smart kitchen. 

The iVario teased, “Look at how I can multitask. I fry, boil, sauté, pressure cook! What’s your gourmet speciality? Are you just a tall, hunky handsome guy with an SS coat? Come cook mate into my multifarious functions and engulf your skills seamlessly. You will be craving for more experiences and then we could make a great pair.” 

iCombi Pro, the he-man, couldn’t resist the offer and the temptation, his Wi-fi port thundered and shivered in mere anticipation. Lightning struck the iVario as aromatic kisses were fired. The gourmet recipe was thus set, well nurtured with love. 

Being a connected kitchen, all the other equipment shared the delight of the budding culinary romance. Lo and behold! A Kitchen tandav (cosmic dance) happened! Exotic smells of fine food being cooked. Even the chefs were surprised at the response the equipment were giving that day. Parcels of fine cooked food were despatched to the La Cruet counter line serveries. The diners were pampered with the tasty delicacies. Stomachs full and souls satisfied. 

All was good, the young lovers could not have asked for more. Unlimited care, power and a lively atmosphere. The Business Operating System (BOS) was recounting all the happenings into the systematic data on its server. An auspicious date was being explored. The electric surges didn’t matter when hearts are pounding in synchrony.  

There was, however, one very unhappy person…

Enter the love breaker

While the young love was blossoming at a breakneck speed, the boiling custom fabrication kettle was bursting at the seams with sky-high jealousy. “She didn’t even acknowledge my signals, yet she went head over heels over that monstrous iCombi?” Kettle fury can be steamy like a rail engine. 

Mr Kettle decided to throw a spanner at the soupy endearments. 

The first stroke was to wink at the appealing Revac lady hood above. She promptly shut her lids and membranes in protest. How dare he do this again? Incorrigible chap! However, the kettle was pleased with this expected move, now he would generate a humongous surge of steam to drown the young bird’s passion. 

iVario was misty-eyed with an overdose of condensation, an ugly bonus for having rejected the boiler’s indecent proposal. The woman of steely substance decided instantly to teach a lifelong lesson to the camouflaging intruder. After all, she was powerfully built with innovation as her design foundation. 

She planned a meticulous honey trap, a sweet one at that. She despatched an instant incandescent hybrid smoke signal, “I am all yours Mr. Charming, just a tiny favour, though. All you need to do is to shed those scary automatic digital worm gears from your tilting mechanism. When we hug, they would interfere and cause a short circuit. Hope you don’t mind that tiny request for our love’s sake? You tilt so slow due to that horrible rigid fitment. I want you slim and speedy,” she murmured sweetly. 

Overjoyed is an understatement, the kettle’s hormones and the digital chips were hijacked to Andromeda. 

He replied with a thunderous “Hiss yes,” and quickly dismantled his tilt mech. He lay waiting in anticipation for his love to saunter in. To his luck, the chef came in early that day and stuffed him with loads of raw food. Ignited. In fifteen minutes, the food was done and the chef operated the tilt to decant the delicious dish. Alas! The custom fabricated kettle collapsed, and all the food fell on the floor. 

All hell broke loose and how! The chefs scampered around trying to clean up the mess. Within an hour the facilities team packed the unfortunate fellow into a box. Karmic cycles catch up for sure. Lady iVario’s ire can be hot and steamy, I guess.

The couple rejoiced at the obstacle, annihilated. They were now ready for a happy Jeevan Bandhan. The IoT consultant gave the correct muhurat for the nuptials after checking with the BMS data. The boy’s parents from the factory were summoned. Since the ship would take twelve weeks to reach, they flew in, thanks to the intense pressure from the kids. 

Fairy lights adorned the SS kitchen ceiling, creating a psychedelic effect. The electric fryers sent violet plumes of rising flames right under the secure watchful eyes of Ansul, who is known for his piranha efficiencies. The whole effect was deeply glorious and epicurean. The puffed-up proud cold rooms stored all the goodies for the occasion.

Garlands of electromagnetic impulses were exchanged in holy matrimony while the priest, the eloquent Italian pasta boiler, blessed the groom to kiss the bride. The sync culminated perfectly, the iCombi sent out a spark via his probe and the pretty and shy iVario sweetly accepted. All clapped in utter glee. All’s well that ends well, and they happily cooked ever after. 

Amen.

Mills and Boons love stories are surely transformed to the present Disney world kitchen fantasy. As the connected kitchens norm gradually takes over, wherein the equipment communicates effectively, I would expect these machines to get evolved into consciousness.  A concept not far away in the future, but within a couple of decades from the exciting times that we live in.

Some culinary spirituality for thought!

AUTHOR BIO: Venu Rao is partner, Peacock Hospitality